twenty-three was a shot of straight frustration

the application process is not going so well; i'm considering just shooting myself in the head instead. it would at least be quicker.

current tally: one (1) professor happy to write a letter, one (1) professor happy to write a letter but unsure if he's really the best source of a recommendation (for many truly excellent reasons), and one (1) professor who would be happy to write a letter, if only he'd known me for more than five minutes weeks. so i need another referral source, except that there really isn't anyone else. i made sure of it! and i'm honestly not sure if it's a fixable problem; it's not like i've built a time machine in the last year and a half so i can go back and forge stronger relationships throughout my undergraduate career. though that certainly would have been a better use of those idle days!

still need to finish the statement of objectives (though i found old livejournal entries that will be PERFECT for recycling) which professor #2 would like to see so he can have a better idea of "how i am presenting myself in the application, and how i am defining my goals"—when do i get to give up this horrible ruse about HAVING GOALS IN THE FIRST PLACE? i still need to have ETS send my GRE scores; and i still need to figure out how i would be paying for this little lark and fill out the financial statement. still need to track down the titles and authors of the textbooks i used in all my courses, and WOW does that sound like a lot of work. if only i'd left myself more than a month do to all of this! if only!

oh, and through a series of misadventures, both my mother and a. and l. have found out about this delusional pipe dream. AWESOME. the only thing better than being a fuck-up is when everyone gets to follow the trajectories of your failures.

in other news, i'm wearing jeans to the office today because a) it's FRIDAY THANK CHRIST, b) sister c., the admin, is out of town (also the reason i am wearing backless shoes), c) m. has been wearing jeans ALL WEEK ANYWAY because we keep saying we're going to shift the files in the file room, but, you know, we haven't, and d) i seriously, seriously need to do laundry.

in addition to laundry, what i should really do this weekend is come in and file for hours and hours so i can have a chance in hell of catching everything up before the holidays. YOU CAN SEE THE COUNTERS AGAIN GUYS, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

this morning i fell in love with this song: the hold steady - boys and girls in america

i have no way to say and there is nothing i can do

because otherwise i'm going to have hysterics or a dissociative event, here is a short list of things that are awesome:

1. HOLIDAY BONUSES \o/


2. gift certificates to spas.


3. SGA, supernatural, and yummy baked goods with silentfire this weekend.


4. ice skating in centennial park with the cool kids from the office.


5. dinner last night at two urban licks including a) oysters that MELTED IN MY MOUTH LSKDFJLA and b) the discovery of monty python's holy grail pale ale ("tempered over burning witches")¹


6. the video for herman düne's "i wish that i could see you soon":

1. me: *closes one eye and squints into bottle*
m.: what are you looking at?
me: the cast of monty python's in here.
m.: you should totally blog that.