I'm not catching on fire today

The cat and dog fight like—well, you know. Turns out it's not just a figure of speech.

Together malelia_honu and I blew off yoga on Tuesday and instead went shopping at Old Navy, where we each bought several items at wildly discounted prices. I watched House after dinner. ( reactions to Cursed )

I read Dira Sudis's Last Rites a while ago, but I just went back to it for a re-read now that things make more sense. You couldn't ask for a better follow-up to this episode.

And then I finished Fermat's Enigma: The Epic Quest to Solve the World's Greatest Mathematical Problem. It's just what it says, the history of Fermat's Last Theorem and why (and how) it took 350 years to solve. They yadda-yadda-yaddad over most of the actual math, especially toward the end (which I can't help feeling a little put-out about, no matter that I wouldn't even begin to understand it), but it's a good story. In some ways it's a horrifying story: the lives of so many mathematicians seem tenuous at best and the tragedy of time is everywhere in abundant evidence. They often died young, or lived in turbulent times, or lived at the wrong time. Wiles himself finally expressed, explicitly, the danger of a linear, unidirectional timeline:

Having tried every tool and technique in the published literature, [Wiles] had found that they were all inadequate. "I really believed that I was on the right track, but that did not mean that I would necessarily reach my goal. It could be that the methods needed to solve this particular problem may simply be beyond present-day mathematics. Perhaps the methods I needed to complete the proof would not be invented for a hundred years. So even if I was on the right track, I could be living in the wrong century." (237)

Isn't that terrifying? The odds of achieving self-actualization are infinitesimal in this world. Galois was a "respectable but not outstanding" student until he encountered mathematics at the age of sixteen; he was twice refused admittance to the École Polytechnique because of the "abruptness and lack of explanation in the oral examination"; he was caught up in the tumultuous politics of 1820s and '30s France and died in a duel at the age of twenty. Leonhard Euler's father was determined that his son should pursue a career in the Church—and he did, until their friends the Bernoullis intervened and persuaded the father that his son "had been born to calculate, not to preach."

What's so haunting isn't that Euler almost became a clergyman to fulfill his father's wishes instead of a mathematician who would later be referred to as "analysis incarnate" and of whom "the French academician François Arago said, 'Euler calculated without apparent effort as men breathe, or as eagles sustain themselves in the wind'"—but that for every touch-and-go story like his that ends happily, there must be countless other stories that end with the hapless protagonist going into his father's business without a word of complaint; or dying in infancy; or being too poor for school or books; or being born into a nomadic tribe, or before the advent of Pythagoras and the entire field of mathematics. The tragedy of time is that in the fifteenth century Leonardo da Vinci was able to design a helicopter that would have flown—what could he have done today? That kind of thing can keep me up at night.

( More snippets from the book. )

That was all Tuesday; today was Wednesday, but I didn't do much with it. My mother and I ran errands, we made our own version of these shrimp pouches for dinner, and we started the seventh season of M*A*S*H*: BJ's moustache is truly hideous, but his initials stand for anything you want!

And if you're still here, leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me. It can only be one word. No more. Then copy & paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you.

more than ever now I sometimes think no poetry is read

You know what I need? A Stargate: Atlantis icon. Of John. And/or Rodney. Wither shall I go? Who has the hook-up?

These are the stories I've read and saved in the past couple of weeks and am now recommending to you:

Stargate: Atlantis

Exigencies by Rivier
*whistles long and low* Check out the plot, the POV, the dead-on characterization, and the implications.
He's half the bulk of Calmoore, but something about this man makes her bodyguard look like an amateur, a fake. He smells of sweat and blood and metal and dirt, and a static crackle of nervous energy. He's lean, and handsome, and she's never met anyone so frightening in her life.

As Seen On Television by Layton Colt
This is just so damn cute. It would make more sense if deathbed cave-in sex were bad sex, right?
As they headed back into the hall, there was that moment of awkwardness two people who have been caught in a cave-in and had sex because they were going to die, but didn't, in fact, actually die, always experience once things are safe again.

Under the Influence by Chelle
John's expression turned incredulous. "Nice? You called a meeting because Rodney is being nice?"

Intersections by Kaneko
Seriously though, everybody read this within twenty-four hours of its posting, right? The pre-Atlantis story, clocking in at just over 150K. A strong candidate for best ending of a work of fanfiction. And the "fan" there is optional.
It becomes a joke between them - how little they have in common.

The Weight of My Hand by Chelle
John would tell Rodney what he imagined, in detail. Rodney had concluded months ago that sex was the one intimacy John was comfortable with. Rodney was okay with that, because John was the most uninhibited lover he'd ever had.

Atavistic Pie by cofax7
You know, I really don't understand exactly what's going on here—how much is canon, how much is real or imagined—but it certainly sucked me in.

Letting It Go by dirty diana
John/Ford and it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
John could have ignored it. Anyone else would have ignored it. But John liked Ford, and anyway, they were going to be here a long time.

Detox by Jane St Clair
Rodney and Zelenka come down.

Maybe He Didn't by kyrieane
All my buttons pushed at once! John changes the rules on Rodney and it's about breaking habits and breaking down defenses.
Rodney thought open and the door slid obediently. John didn’t follow him in, just stood there waiting for something. It took Rodney too many seconds to figure it out, and then he waved John in.

The Ways by Layton Colt
They fall back on his bed, and its surreal enough he could almost believe he was dreaming, except that John feels real enough. "I'm sorry," he says again, because he is, he's sorry about all of it and he's sorry because he doesn't think there's any going back from this—can't imagine how things will ever be the same.

Face Value (Part 1) and Part 2 by minnow
Long enough to wallow in and it's so, so good. Rodney can read minds! And it's so not the story you think it is.
Summary: "Yes, I think one telepath per Atlantis is enough," Elizabeth said. One too many, she murmured internally.

Advantage by Resonant
John turns out to be a very bossy slave. I squeeze this story and never let go.

Equate by Rivier
Ah, John and Rodney, feeling their way around and to and through each other.
They're doing something, Rodney and the Colonel. He doesn't know exactly what it is or what the right name for it might be.

Stepwise by Tigerlady
And thank god, Rodney got it, too. A warm, sweaty palm met his own. They were both shaking, gripping each other desperately, but John was pretty sure that was okay for two friends who had just survived certain death.

SG-1

East of Eden by dirty diana
A crossover with Stargate: Atlantis. A New World Order.

Hysteria by dirty diana
Daniel reached out, his hand restlessly turning pages. There was something relieving about the feel of paper, thick and with ink smudged in the corners, where he had written too fast. There was something relieving about leaving.

Out of Season by Anna S
After another moment, Jack reluctantly removed his hand from where it rested. He was feeling hungry, and not for doughnuts, and he was also feeling like a real shit-heeled bastard for what the next few weeks would do to his team. To Daniel. When he'd outlined his plan to Hammond, he'd secretly felt its biggest problem was that Daniel would never fall for it, would never buy that Jack was at heart a jingoistic thief with no stake left in the system.

Fools Can Dream by Icarus
Jack and Daniel get married. In a non-cloying way.
Yep. Terrified. Which was S.O.P.

Double Bed by paian
Achy in the best possibly way. Bleak until it isn't anymore.
Jack detached himself a little, moved up level with Daniel's face. Daniel turned onto his back. The thumb at the end of the arm that stayed under Jack rubbed lightly, absently. He didn't pull away, except he did. Jack laid a hand on his chest. Too sticky to rub. He squeezed a little. Daniel's eyes closed, part pleasure and part pain. He wanted this, he wanted contact, affection; except he didn't.

Syllepsis by paian
Sara O'Neill drops by, unexpected.
"I'm afraid Jack's out," he said. "He's picking up snacks for the games this afternoon." It was Sunday, football season, and he wasn't exactly lying; Jack would pick up munchies and burgers and dogs, but really he was just doing the weekly shopping, because it was his turn and because Daniel had this translation to work on. "Can I get you a drink or something?" He considered and discarded the temptation to say It's not really my place to play host, but . . . His mind was working fast, the way it did during an unexpected negotiation or first contact. He'd gone into work mode, he realized -- offworld mode, or NID mode, or something. Balling up tight, deep inside, what he finally registered as a low, quiet panic.

Home From Here by Merry
Merry wins at last lines. If a fic could grin, this one does.

A Bird in the Hand Gets Tangled in the Sheets by The Grrrl
He slides under the covers carefully, because Jack is already asleep, and has been for hours. It's late. Or early, Daniel thinks as he squints at the clock. Very early. He didn't mean to stay up so long, but the damn bird thing . . . maybe the bird ate the man?

Miscellaneous

The History of the World by Wintertime. (House)
This was a re-read this past week, but it's so pitch-perfect and finely balanced.

Asymptotic Behavior by rageprufrock. (Numb3rs)
Gen. Driving lessons: Charlie is the immovable object and Don is the irresistible force.
Charlie's mouth opens and math spews out, which Don has learned over the course of going on seventeen years to ignore. When Charlie finishes in a feverish babble--something about "impact ratios and twisted metal"--Don smiles patiently at him and says, "Charlie, press down on the God damn gas."

Change Is the Only Constant by marag (House/DC Universe)
For something completely different.
Summary: When Bruce Wayne becomes Dr. Gregory House's latest patient, House's hidden past might just be disclosed.