walkingshadow: anne taintor. it's not easy being easy. (sga: with a TOOTHBRUSH)
walkingshadow ([personal profile] walkingshadow) wrote2006-12-04 12:56 pm

you sound like her roundhouse kick

a. thanksgiving by the numbers: TWO parents and ONE cousin up from florida for SEVEN days, ONE niece home from college, and TWO in-laws driving down, for a total of ELEVEN people staying in the house. TWENTY-ONE bodies for dinner on thursday. SEVENTEEN bodies on friday. approximately FORTY BILLION hours spent cooking in the kitchen: FOUR kinds of sweet potatoes, THREE cranberry relishes, TWO stuffings, and TWELVE pies served. ONE afternoon spent at the atlanta botanical gardens, ONE morning spent at the high museum's louvre exhibit, ONE night at the movies, TWO nights at home watching videos, ONE day of running errands to confirm the uselessness of best buy and drinking margaritas at neighbor's with m. and cousin m. and kansas.

all told, not a bad week. cousin m. and i talked about how lucky we are in our family that everyone's so laid-back; some people have their little irritations, and our dad scrapes against our nerves like we're cats getting rubbed the wrong way, but it's just dad being dad. no one fights, no one gets drunk and embarrassing, no one yells. everyone's nerves were badly fraying by sunday night, but we KEPT IT TOGETHER. returning to work on monday was strange and brutal. what were these piles of paper for? what was i to do with them? and why? i asked myself, "how did i get here?"

b. intervention: we took informal bets on how many times during the course of the very, very long weekend i would be asked what i was up to, what my plans were, WHAT I WAS DOING WITH MY LIFE, but our estimations failed to take into account my niece's wildcard presence as a first-semester college student, and most of the boilerplate life questions ended up deflected her way. for the record, she's highly stressed and very unhappy in her major, but she's making lots of friends and seems to be having fun, so we're hoping next semester will be better; and after that she'll evaluate.

no, all the impatience and worry about the course of my life were deferred until my parents and cousin m. were on the way to the airport, when my mother unloaded; luckily i wasn't there, but my brother seems to have gotten an earful. on wednesday night he and i went across the street to THE RIGHTEOUS ROOM (no lie!) for dinner, compliments of my father ("here, take your sister out"), and after we ordered our first round and debated whether or not i should partition my hard drive (see below), m. handed me a present:

me: wow, what have i done lately?!
me: *unwraps package to reveal a copy of what color is your parachute?*
me: ahhh, it's what i haven't done lately.

and he reported the earful he'd gotten from our mother, and we came up with a plan of sorts, and he gave me ASSIGNMENTS with DEADLINES, e.g. read the book, investigate night classes at emory and georgia state, solicit references for a therapist—because it's time! maybe!—and we ate onion straws and drank many more rounds and then stumbled home drunk.

c. the power of apple compelled me: in fact, i was too drunk to turn on the SUPER-SHINY APPLE COMPUTER that had that day been delivered into my feverish consumer hands! i opted for the macbook—in white, like the white album is white, like it should be playing honey piiiiiiiiii-aiiiiiiiie, i love you! ALL THE TIME—with two gigs of RAM and a 120GB hard drive and final cut express preinstalled for the fulfillment of all my pirating, surfing, songvidding needs. obviously i also opted not to wait ONE MINUTE LONGER. so on thursday when i got home, i booted it up and transferred all the contents and settings of ezekiel to the new computer (new computer still has no name. *frets*) and then spent the rest of the night downloading widgets and arranging them to my satisfaction on the desktop and playing bubble trouble, a game that you should not download for the love of god, unless you don't mind losing YEARS OF YOUR LIFE to it. i tell you this as a friend.

it's so shiny, you guys. SO SHINY. and super-duper awesomely fast, and at first it was running plastic-meltingly hot and the fan was whirring like a jet engine and the battery drained after an hour and a half; but i ran activity monitor, and immediately after disabling the new york times headlines-retrieving widget i'd been running, the fan died down to nothing and the battery time left increased by a hundred percent. o.O i didn't need to be globally informed ANYWAY. over the weekend i tried to trick out safari, becuase i know it's fast and native and passes the acid test, but i couldn't configure it to my satisfaction (i can't find a del.icio.us client that works for me—cocoalicious refuses to load my bookmarks and delibar is only for browsing—and i somehow resent having to pay for saft to plug some—but by no means all—of the holes in safari that inexplicably haven't already been plugged by apple. session saving? hello?) so instead i further tricked out firefox and am finding new extensions all the time. i mugged for the photobooth camera and watched apple's famous 1984 ad and then the spoof of apple's famous 1984 ad, and then some of my favorite songvids on the wide, glossy screen.

we're going to be very happy together.

d. saturday: i found myself in an incredibly bad mood friday night, toward the end of happy hour and on the drive home. i played listlessly with the computer for an hour or so, and then went to bed and slept for fourteen hours. i felt a lot more human saturday morning, i won't lie. met m. and kansas at taco mac down the street, and then we checked out the telephone factory lofts art show; there i saw a photograph of goldfish that filled me with rage, and we found, possibly, the perfect artwork for kansas's kitchen. i watched football all afternoon and evening, FOOTBALL of all things, at m.'s apartment with m. and his friend c.: USC and UCLA (which i feel compelled to pronounce yoocla when it's written out in lowercase) and then florida vs. arkansas, and i asked m. a million questions like why were they lining up like that, and how many time-outs did they get, and when could they kick a field goal, which he very patiently answered in between cursing the gators and cheering them and their chances at the championship. which i understand they now have!

we ordered thai and when the games were over we flipped channels to find the last thirty minutes of van helsing, which was AWFUL, except for david wenham saying that if there was one thing he'd learned, it was never be the first to stick your hand in a viscous liquid.

e. visitors from beyond the perimeter: [livejournal.com profile] silentfire and i have been like busy ships with conflicting schedules playing phone tag and passing in the night, but yesterday she drove down to play dueling laptops and trade music and roll around in fandom. we ate sushi and walked across the street to publix in the cold to get ice cream, and watched the first episode of life on mars, which we think is groovy!

f. don't jinx it: i'm applying—i think?—to this graduate program, and i'm almost afraid to mention it; it was a capricious, spur-of-the moment decision i made when i tripped over its website last week, and i've been busily regretting it and fourteenth-guessing it even as i go about drafting emails to solicit letters of recommendation and fretting over a STATEMENT OF OBJECTIVES, and the deadline's january fifteenth, so it may all come to NOTHING. but there it is. *bites nails*

g. it was twenty-eight degrees out on the drive to work this morning: i feel GREAT today! even after resolving to get the number for a therapist, and the nightmarish prospect of contacting old professors, and the reams of paper under which i am buried at work! i think it's the weather! and the fact that the computer bag i ordered last week—the one that departed california last wednesday and took what sounds like a lovely road trip through illinois, indiana, ohio, and tennessee—should be arriving at the office MOMENTARILY. i love package tracking and plunging mercury and the WORLD.
yueni: fantasy bosom (jar is closed)

[personal profile] yueni 2006-12-04 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I surfed onto this entry from my fflist, just so you know.

I do feel compelled to let you know that What Color is your Parachute? is a really helpful book. I was super sceptical at first when it was recommended to me, but I was desperate enough to read it and do most of the exercises in it (the flower petal one was really good at breaking down my strengths and weaknesses career-wise and at also helping me write my resume) and to actually apply some of the stuff that the book had said. I ended up landing an awesome job not three months after the fact with barely any effort on my part. Obviously, your mileage may vary, but... I thought I should let you know that the book's an easy, practical read, and it really does help.

[identity profile] walkingshadow.livejournal.com 2006-12-04 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
hey there, i appreciate the vote in favor. i think the book really will be helpful, though i've decided to take the sections backward; from where i'm standing right now, i'd rather begin with "well, what do you really want to be doing, anyway?"—the flower exercise, etc.—before the nitty gritty (though very useful, from what i can see!) tips for the actual job search. and man, i can only hope my mileage doesn't vary radically from yours.
yueni: fantasy bosom (come in closer)

[personal profile] yueni 2006-12-05 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
Honestly, that was what I started with too. At the time, I honestly had no clue what I was doing. *g* Your icon was pretty much where I was at at the time. Directionless etc. And doing all those exercises helped me pin down my strengths, my weaknesses, what I was really passionate about and wanted to do, and what I was actually skilled and qualified to do.

It's all a road/journey, really. I popped over to your profile, and you're really about my age, so you're really just beginning the journey to a fulfilling life. (At least, that's what I like to tell myself.) Somebody wise once told me that on average, a person doesn't really know what they want to do with their life until they're about 32, and he told me that it was fine to stumble along the way and really not know what I wanted to do, because really, I had no clue what I was doing at the time.

I do have a better direction now, though, and I have a vague idea and I'm sort of... meandering in that direction while I save money for graduate school. =P Sorry for the long ramble, but anyway, good luck with the job hunt and finding direction in life. ^^ I really do hope that you get a good job that'll set you on the pathway towards career bliss.

[identity profile] walkingshadow.livejournal.com 2006-12-05 02:32 pm (UTC)(link)
it sounds like i'm in almost the same place as you—maybe two steps behind?—biding my time here and saving for grad school, and trying to figure out which grad school, and what for, etc. i'd feel a little better about not having a direction if i were doing something constructive while i was figuring it all out, but these days it seems like i've just stalled out—hence the gift of the book. this icon was my default for a long, long time. and i might bring it back yet!

i have taken heart from your long ramble! thanks for the good wishes. :)
yueni: fantasy bosom (Default)

[personal profile] yueni 2006-12-05 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I definitely hear you on that one. ^^ I know it would have helped me to have somebody fresh out of where you are currently to help coach me along and at least tell me that it's not all bad when I was where you are. It's just nice to know that I'm not the only one out there struggling. And both of us being more or less kinda around the same place in life... well... I had to speak up. ^^

If I weren't so het up on becoming a translator and interpreter, I might actually consider what I'm doing now (banking) a career path, but it bores me to death, so it helps that I know it's a short term thing. *g* You see how far my path diverges? XD

But yes, direction helps. If nothing else, there's this nebulous goal to strive for and where you're at? It's only temporary. All the best wishes. Sincerely. From one who's been there, done that, and is still doing that... fervent good wishes. It won't be easy, but I'm sure it'll be worth it!

[identity profile] silentfire.livejournal.com 2006-12-04 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
except for david wenham saying that if there was one thing he'd learned, it was never be the first to stick your hand in a viscous liquid.

um. but would you want to stick your hand in a viscous liquid *after someone else did*? i mean, *used* viscous liquid, man.

also, the viscous liquids would be a *terrible* name for a band.

[identity profile] walkingshadow.livejournal.com 2006-12-05 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
. . .

your point is well taken. um, ew.

ahhaaha, no, i would not wear a t-shirt proclaiming that i saw the viscous liquids live in concert.

or would i?